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Female Advise Please This post is an attempt to get female advise on how to go about looking for a woman to fill a specific role in my life:
I have been happily married for about 4 years to my best friend. She is beautiful and in most every way perfect for me. We both are non-jealous and have maintained an ethiy open marriage for the last 3 years. I the relationship "open", but it really is only a fun relationship system for her at the moment. I am free to look, and free to have a girlfriend. However, being allowed to have one, and actually attaining one has proved quite another story.
The marriage was opened because my wife functions better (physiy and emotionally) when she knows she has options. She is a lot more fun to be around when she knows she can go see her boyfriend for an hour or two at any time during the week. She has had one steady boyfriend for most of these three years, and also one or two guys she s "Submissives"; these are not sexual partners per-se, but certainly are fun and risqué relationships.
Because my wife is the no-nonsense type, she tends to be easy for me to live and work with, but not very romantic. Romance is not easily understood and not easily practicedand in fact rather disdained by her. I love the easy day-to-day communication that our relationship is based around. I also like the ease in which conflicts are resolved by reason and deduction. However, there are times when I miss the sentimental and just for-no-reason sweetness of naive romance. I honestly want a kiss-and-cuddle friend more than I want a mistress. But try explaining that on a dating website!
I am 30, in shape, educated, and get a lot of hits by women of all ages on dating sites until the marriage status is noticed.
I could still easily find an unhappy wife, and cheat with her on her husband; but I do not want to be the guy some woman is sneaking around with behind her mans back. I could lie and say I was single, but I am honest and rather sensitive about hurting others. Because of this tendency to avoid the cheating relationship and to play above-board, I end up on the short end of this "open relationship" system.
Women seem they are either looking for a single guy, or they are looking for a guy in a relationship that they can swoop in on. To find the counterpart to what my wife can so easily find seems impossible.
Men seem to have aif you two are ok with it, I am ok with itattitude about the whole thing. She is really cute, and could pick up a new guy in less than minutes if she needed to. Women, however, assume something is amiss and give me the cold stare. Online they write me nasty little notes or block/report my profile and posts. This pattern seems true even if SHE is the one who acts as my wingman in person or writes my posts online.
I like the person that our non-monogamous relationship makes her. I like the freedom it gives us both. I just need to know how to go about finding someone for me. Dating websites seem to be a wrong choice. Im not into one-night-stands. And, yes, there does have to be chemistry.
Im looking for a romantic partner that is not looking to get married, but is looking for a relationship that can build like a friendship. A cute romantic mistress so to speak. With movies like Magic and 50 Shades, I know this exists but WHERE?
So, after trying multiple things, I am posting this as an attempt to get female advise on how to go about looking for a woman to fill this unorthodox role in my life.
Where do I look?
Is there a name for what I am looking for?
How do I find this person?

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